Time makes the heart grow fonder?
Or I hope…
It’s been a couple of weeks (err a month?) and I decided to come back to blogging. It’s my ploy to be good at life. I’m not good at life. My friends will tell you this. Not that I’m horrible but I have this utter obsession with being trademark good at life and while I appreciate people telling me no one can be that; I disagree.
So the past few weeks I have been solid about going on one date here and there, nothing beyond that. A few more crazyblinddates. I admit that blind dates don’t freak me out. It’s because I have nothing to lose. I’m much more nervous and anxious about going on dates where I am interested in the person.
So I’m writing again because I started this blog with Betty to get better. I’ll be frank here because if I am ever going to date and like me I should be okay sharing things. That says for the 14 or so (maybe more) people that read this blog. I have neurofibromatosis. Right now the case is pretty mild but it’s really destroyed my self-esteem. No self-esteem makes me pretty worthless at dating. I can’t ever imagine anyone ever wanting to be with me.
My bitterness comes I guess more at myself that at the male population but who ever said I was good at life? I’m working on that.
Dear Bitter Girl, I understand dating and I understand living with Neurofibromatosis. My NF effects my face. I have no place to hide who I am, except maybe here under my desk. It may be difficult for you to beleive right now, but people around you really respond off of how you feel about yourself more than anything. Confidence is sexy. Find what you enjoy, what makes you feel strong and sexy. And have confidence in fellow man. NF can be a bullshit screne. You are already looking for a great person right? Well, it will be a man with a generous heart who falls in love with you. They are out there.
candice patterson
October 22, 2008 at 2:25 pm